if only time could give us another chance.

2012-02-01T00:27:00.002+08:00

At times like this, again, i wish you're here with me. I wish you're RIGHT here with me. You left too soon. Maybe you're out there somewhere protecting me, but its not enough. I need someone to talk to. It's too lonely here..

i would do anything to bring you back to life.

2012-01-19T20:04:00.001+08:00

Funny how life works. Funny how the person who is more willing to give more, is always the one who fell for the other first just before they get together.

2012-01-02T01:58:00.000+08:00

When you're weak, I'll be strong

When you let go, I'll hold on

When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes

When you feel lost and scared to death,

Like you can't take one more breath

Just take my hand, together we can do this

I'm gonna love you through it.

2012-01-01T22:55:00.011+08:00

Well, 2011 was great. Almost, definitely there are ups and downs, and well.... lets just say it wasn't exactly a very good year for me. If it wasn't for my girls and L, guess 2011 would have sucked quite badly :/

So here it is, how my 2011 went :)

January:

Had the time of my life with TEAM LTC for Sec 1 OC 2011. It was great:)

And here it is, results day for Os. Hahaha happiest day of 2011 i guess! We were all anxious when we got to school and we were all tryna ask our teachers how we did. And I could clearly remember myself asking Ms Ong if we did well, and she was like, "all of you can make it into very good JCs". I could rmb vividly i was praying to God to keep me calm and to stay happy no matter what the results were. And when the Mrs Crossley was showing the honor roll and those reading out the names of students getting 8As, 7As, 6As, Vivian hugged me and we all cried. All of us did fabulously well! 4D more than half of the class got <10! Awesome day, awesome day. We certainly did ourselves, the school and our teachers proud:) We kinda...created a legend :)

Anddd Forte Legame 2011, a camp ran by Alumni for the juniors to bond them together. Great camp, bonded us as well and it was the first event EVER we ran it without cam! hahaha :)

February:

Orientation at NYJC! NYJC was really never my choice of jc at all. It was my back up school or sth incase i don't get into SAJC/MJC/TJC. WELL!! My results could get me to all 3 schools, but i chose NYJC in the end. Oh wells, orientation was great. Wish this bunch of people could be my classmates! it wld be great. hahaha.

CHINESE NEW YEAR!! Hahaha! Had a blast!!! Mr Chang's visiting was great. Vi's steamboat was AWESOME. hahaha love this bunch of people : )

March:

Sports Carnival w NYJC @ Bedok Reservoir. Awesome experience to try DB :)

Sports day @ SJC!!!! Congratulations to Saint Catherine for winning champion again! :) hehehe continue on the legacy my kids! :)

Memorable Floorball camp 2011. This bunch of people are the best people I've met in NYJC :) Seniors are damn awesome too. The camp was...hahaha a new experience? The midnight punishment was the best. lol. I can still rmb what Zhiqing told us. She was like, "Wingyin Jinming go behind the line and run after them. If you let them catch you, then we'll do this again". Which was the running up the stairs a couple of times. And then 200 push ups or sth. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE 2AM. >< Haha but camp was damn good :)

Regular meet up sessions with the girls! It was a great day at barrage and we talked under the stars and watched the night view of singapore. Beautiful night i must say :) I rmb we cried hahaha! ok emotional people

LTC Buffet @ Sakura with the teachers and P/VP! :)

My two best buds in floorball:) Love them two to bits.

April:

April 25th, start of A division! hahaha first game we had was good. 8-0! haha awesome experience with the seniors :)

17th Birthday celebration with the most awesome people in the world! :) I had two birthday surprises from my friends:) The girls and hq they all. Hahahaha i was sooo happy i think i cried that day!! :) Best birthday ever.

May:

NIKE 5K Run! With the seniors and Wingyin and all! :)

May 16th:

This day was especially special to me. That was the day i broke down and i was out w suyiying. All becoz of an idiot. May 22nd, he realised what he had been missing out. And took me in:)

June:

Seniors farewell party!

Had the best time w 1112 at Macpherson Childcare! Kids are freaking cute :)

LTC AMAZING RACE RUN BY THE STUDENTS FOR THE TEACHERS! AWESOME DAY!

Floorball team at the beach! :)

August:

I joined Agape together with wingyin, weishan and elaine. Awesome experience.

LTC with NYJC at Malaysia :)

September:

BBQ WITH 1112 HAHAHA LAUGHED SO MUCH THAT NIGHT

October:

15th Leadership Training Camp 2011:)

December:

GENTING WITH THE GIRLS AND WILSON!!!

CHRISTMAS!!!! SO.MUCH.FOAM THAT NIGHT :)

LTC BBQ!!!!!! Genuine happiness that night.

Well. That marks the end of 2011... looking back, it was a fruitful one. Am not exactly looking forward to 2012 :/ With A div and A levels :/ But i know that whenever I'm down, I would always have someone by my side taking care of me. And my girls for being there for me. 2012 marks our 6th year knowing each other and my 12th year with some friends. Awesome. :)

2011-12-29T01:59:00.002+08:00

meeting you and being together w you was probably the best thing this year. it has been a shitty 2011 and without you, guess it would have been much worse. :) Thanks for making my life a lot happier and better :) feel so loved when i'm w youuu hehehehe. cutie :)

life's great. though i've a packed holiday with trainings and constant shuffles between sjc and nyjc, it was a great one. Tiring yes, but meh, the process was great. Yes watching juniors mature and grow, best thing ever. That feeling is indescribable!

Well, a few more days and its 2012. Can't believe i'm a J2 and im gna take As. I feel like a kid. Meh. I'm not ready for 2012 or As... oh wells. life goes on.

2011-12-17T19:40:00.003+08:00

Been long since I've blogggged. So here it is. Its been a busy busy holidays :/ With trainings on monday, thursday and friday. Used to be 1,2,4,5. And ltc and all :/ Ahhhhh. I just came back from genting though :) HEHEHE i went there w hq xy yr and wilson. It was a blastttt :) Cool experience to go there with friends and no parents hahahaha.

okay short post.

P.S, i love L: )

2011-12-07T01:02:00.000+08:00

2011-12-01T23:57:00.002+08:00

PARANOID

cos I'm not good enough

2011-11-29T21:39:00.003+08:00

Am proud to say I really feel like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world. So 22/11 marks our 6th month; half year. That day wasn't really well spent cos we had to settle floorball goalposts thingy and all. And after which, there was a jealousy isssssueeeee >< but its all well now.

I was down w flu ytd and today morning, i was having a high fever. Nevertheless, i headed out to sjc to find my kids. Then kovan to find love and we ate beef noodles :P omg been craving for it since forever!!! Urgh but my nose was blocked so i couldn't rly taste anything.

So on our way to my house, when we were at the sk field, we saw a kitten in the middle of the field w a bowl of catfood. And she wasn't moving.. well both of us thought it was dead. And suddenly, its head twitched and stared at me. I couldn't bear to leave her there so love took out his towel and i wrapped around the kitty. Brought it home and gave it a warm shower :) You know when i was carrying her, she reached out her paw and grabbed my jacket and she stared straight into my eyes and meowed. Omg so cuteeee. Its like her saying thank you :')

Got her some warm milk but she didnt drink :/ and after awhile, my fever hit 38.7 -___- then the kitten started vomitting blood :( we called SPCA and it took her away :/ oh wells. SPCA told me they will try to save her. And if they aren't able to do so, they'll do sth to her or sth but they won't tell me the outcome. So i'm guessing thats letting her die :/ Oh wells. At least we tried to save her. Shes goddamn skinny and shes freezing. Curse the owner who dumped the kitten just like that! >( NEVERTHELESS! We feel so heroic!! heh. We saved a life? sorta? :D if only it was a dog or sth hehehe

Love spent the whole day by my side, trying to cool my body down. :') Thankyouuuu. You're a real sweetheart. <3

2011-11-16T22:37:00.003+08:00

Got back my results today. Better than I had expected lol. I calculated myself for promos and my rp was 53? Now its 58. Well, not v good but I hit my target :) Next, its >65! :)

GP D

GEOG B

MATH C

ECONS E

CHEM D

All the way Jin! 2012 is gna be tough but i'll be strong!

2011-11-13T01:37:00.002+08:00

Best day with the best people on earth. I'm lazy to upload the rest. We took 300+ photos! hahaha :p i'll upload soon. love these people to death! :) ij friends are friends for life indeed :)

2011-11-12T12:01:00.001+08:00

1112!!!

2011-11-12T12:00:00.001+08:00

Love:)

2011-11-07T01:37:00.001+08:00

Reading all the tumblr posts about "what a boyfriend should be" or "what a girl wants" or all the "WhenBoys" tweets,

and I'm like, "he does everything" (':

2011-11-06T01:40:00.001+08:00

I had a tough time this week. Sigh. But! It's all well now:) A big thank you to all my friends:) 1112 and my lovelies. :) and of cos. My love. Hahaha. :)

Am glad everything is okay now!^^

2011-11-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

CT 1112<3

2011-11-02T22:34:00.003+08:00

MY TEAM

2011-11-02T22:20:00.002+08:00

Another week gone by like that. Yknow each time I meet the girls or LTC, I feel like a whole new person. I feel so refreshed, like as though before I met them, I lost track of my life and suddenly after LTC, I found it again. I miss them alot. I really do. Life is so simple with LTC girls. At LTC, you are who you are; everyone accepts for who you are. No judging. You are YOU. You don't have to be strong for anyone else because the whole team is in it together with you. You don't have to pretend to be someone else, because the team accepts your strengths and weaknesses.

And when camp ends and you're back to reality. People judge you, people despise you and you have to be strong for other people because its so hard to find someone to be in it together with you.

You are so troubled right now. And I don't have the courage to tell you what my heart is feeling. You're burdened enough so I don't wish to trouble you even stronger. So I have to put up a strong front so you can count on me.

I chose the path to take on the role to be a Captain for floorball. Even after the 4 years of intensive leadership training, and going thru all the shit in guides, house exco and LTC, i still chose the leadership route. Why Jin? Why the fuck did you chose it. Its not that I hate being a leader. I'm just tired. I'm really tired. And the only reason why it isn't tiring when I'm with LTC, is because everyone is there for each other. Every single one of us are doing something we all love. And for floorball, i just feel much alone. Much much alone..... I just wanna step back for a while and be a follower. Its so tiring to be the one leading. Its so hard to be the one where people count on. I want to be count on someone too. Sigh.

Well. I chose this path. I chose this. I just gotta be strong.

2011-10-30T22:25:00.005+08:00

I just had the best 3 days of my life. I just came back from LTC 2011. This would be the 4th batch of leaders and this is the 3rd LTC since our pioneer batch. LTC alumni are invited to go back to this camp and we're soooooooooooo excited. I was waiting for this camp since last year! So excited.

To sum it up, camp was great. At the same time exhausting cause we're guiding our instructors. But the feeling was great. I was home. I was home. I haven't had this kind of feeling in months! You know the feeling of being around people you love? The feeling of doing something you love so much. So much so that you're willing to give up your life for? Oh the comfort I felt from my girls. The feeling of home. The warmth. The kind of team spirit we showed when the instructors, alumni and teachers worked together to deliver a successful programme. How each and every one of the instructor are putting in their best to deliver their part of the camp well. How each alumni is so selfless in helping the instructors grow and learn. To see how some of them grow is truly amazing. I don't even know how to describe it.

Haven't had this feeling for years. The next time I'll see them would be sec 2 camp next year. I can't wait. I love them all. And you know its just so hard to find a group of girls that are this amazing. We're all so amazing in our own special ways.

I think I'm really 200% committed to team ltc. And I really wish to take a break in jc. I really want to take a break. For once, I don't want to be the one up there leading, I don't want to be the one telling others what to do. I want to be a follower, I want to be a camper. I'm really tired. I'm really very exhausted........

Sigh. Wish I can be w team foreverrr. Sigh. Miss T.E.A.M LTC

T.E.A.M LTC; Together Everyone Achieves More.

2011-10-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

11 YEARS:)

2011-10-17T00:12:00.002+08:00

Isn't it amazing how one stranger can step in your life, and the next thing you know, this stranger is the most important person in your life? You just can't picture a day in the future without him by your side.

Until that day comes, I love you more and more everydayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Maybe its just plain luck that I met you. How can someone be this wonderful? How can someone be this sweet to a girl? It's like a dream. (yes if you're reading this, i still think that its unreal) hahahaha

loveyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

2011-10-15T02:00:00.001+08:00

words of affirmation

quality time*

physical touch*

2011-10-15T00:08:00.003+08:00

Had this relationship module in school today. And it was realllly good. Much better than what i had expected. So there was this part talking about self esteeem.

And honestly speaking, before I had joined LTC, i wasn't really a person with a high self esteem. Maybe cause back in sec 1 and 2 I wasn't exactly amongst the popular kids in school. Plus, I was in an all girls school filled with people who came from OLGC/OLN, so I didn't know alot of people. Then I joined LTC, and you know we have this system where we acknowledge each other everytime during debrief to thank someone or praise someone. And I'm so used to it cause it makes me a much more confident person. My self esteem level is built on what other people say about me. So the more acknowledgments I get, the higher my confidence level is.

And the moment I left LTC and sjc, I don't get such compliments anymore. And being in a whole new school where everyone is talking about whos pretty and whos not, it kinda brings my morale down a little.

I just fucking hate the fucking stupid comparisons about looks. Fuck you. What do you get when you compare a girl with a hot bitch? Are you that hot to have the right to critisize someone? What benefits do you get when you say someone is ugly? You're just bringing people down to build up your own self confidence level.

Fucking stupid superficial world. Fuck.

2011-10-13T23:37:00.001+08:00

Emo nemo tonight

2011-10-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

You see, growing up in a home with me being an only child, makes 'lonliness' my worst fear in my life. I hate it. When I'm young, i play with my teddy bears and lego cos my parents would be at work. Mum works in the day and dad works at night, so dad sleeps during the day. Being a kid, I was alone at home when I don't have school. It was me, four walls and my stuffed teddy bears. I don't even have a dog. As years go by, I've conquered so many fears; Stage fright, heights, losing somebody close. But not this, not loneliness.

Funny how my personality refuses to grow apart from this fear. As stubborn as I am, I can never adapt to a new environment as fast as other people. It takes me years. The transition from kindergarden to primary school took me 3 years; primary sch to sec, 2 years. Now secondary to jc, god knows how long. For now, I'm not used to it yet.

Yeah life was okay at the beginning of jc because when you feel that jc sucks, you can look for your secondary school friends and they'd be there. Because they aren't used to the whole new life thing too. But now, all my friends are growing more attached to their jc/poly now. Am happy for that. Me? I'm still lost. Don't know where I belong, don't know who to trust. I'm still stuck in the past while everyone else is going full speed at their new life. Making new friends, leading a whole new life.

Part of me wants to live the new life, part of me wants to stay in the past instead. And obviously, the latter overpowers the other.

Alone again. What's new? Its me, four walls, and my stuffed things again.

2011-10-13T19:15:00.001+08:00

I'd rather be alone, than to be with a group of people who makes me feel alone.

2011-10-13T19:10:00.001+08:00

Everyone wants to do something that they are good at. But sometimes theres really not much of a choice.

That is why, I wanna go back to sjc, team ltc...so badly...............

2011-10-12T07:25:00.002+08:00

I didn't sleep last night at all. I just couldn't. I have no idea why. I gotta fix this insomnia thing. This is killing my body. Sigh. Guess i was too worked up with exams. During the exam week, saturday night i had 5h of sleep. On sunday night the day before econs, 4h. And the night before geog and chem, 3hours. I was sooo deprived of sleep, and my body clock is really screwed.

I was really hoping i could catch some sleep after the exams. Guess what, it got worse. I had a sleepless night and i dont even feel tired now. I feel giddy, nauseous all night.

You see this? This is what jc do to you

2011-10-11T23:10:00.000+08:00

Life after promos is goooooooooooooooood. I woke up at 12pm today! HAHAH. Its been long since I've done that. I've been waking up at 8/9am for the past few months even on weekends. For tuition or studying sessions or library idk. Sucks. Feels damn good to wake up naturally without alarm clock hahaha :)

B came over and we watched movies and nuaaaa at home. Best feeling yet:) In the past, I'd have homework or exams or some lecture tests constantly playing in my head. And I'd rush to do hw the moment he leaves. Sucks. But not today!!! hehe. Dinz at Jalan Kayuuuuuuuuu:) Was gooood. That is our first date since we started dating, HAHAHA. Which is like hmm about 5 months?? LOL. We didn't go on a proper date at all. Its always like lunch after tuition or some random lunch outside then back to sch or sth like that. :/ Feels so goooood:) Then we walked from Jalan Kayu back to sk, hahaha. It was like an hour walk? And then he wanted to go to the new sk park. Sooo nice:) It was like a board work with pretty lights :> hehehehe sweeeeeet. It was just us two under the moonlight walkinggggggggggggggggg :) Hehehehhehehee. We didnt do this before eh. And there was so much laughters and HTHT. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww hehehe .

Gon' go shopping tmr w my girls! and chomps for dinz. Awesome hehe cant wait. Life's good. Well before pw starrrts ://

2011-10-10T22:32:00.001+08:00

FYEAH PROMOS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feels a little empty without books, but FYEAH its over

2011-10-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm almost done with promos. One last paper left and i'm definitely losing my motivations.

2011-10-08T22:53:00.002+08:00

Life is dynamic; It's ever changing; So are people. Or rather, you just get to know them better. Some people change for good, some people just change to someone you wished she'd never become. Sometimes I blame it on the people around her, thats making her like that.

What ever the reason is, I just hope to have the old you back. Just a wish.

2011-10-04T23:39:00.001+08:00

When you no longer can make your girl jealous when you're with other girls, that's when you should start worrying.

2011-10-02T00:29:00.001+08:00

If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up

Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Beautiful song. Maybe because this song has helped me to pull through all the tough periods in Sjc. Including guides, LTC, exams and stuff like that. Helped me alot and I was listening to it just now while I was on my way home from su's house. What a great comfort. Promos is really a pain in the ass. I really have no idea what am I so afraid of? Ego maybe.... I wanna not just promote, I wanna do well:( sigh looks like that's not gna be possible. Hoping to just promote and work hard next year:( sigh... Bummer 9 more days to go!!!! Sigh. I keep having the same damn vision that I will blank out during paper. Sigh!

Anw thanks to su, I feel much better. And my love too:) hehe.

After promos I swear I'm gna have LOADS OF FUN!!!! I cant wait to go camping w team again! HIGH ELEMENTS WOOHOO!! And debriefing, seeing teachers, cam! And miss my team alot. Hehe:) I love my team.

2011-09-28T01:17:00.000+08:00

"You can't connect the dots when you look forward. You can only connect them when you look backwards. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. Believing in the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow the heart, even when it lead you off the well planned path, which makes all the difference" - Steve Jobs

2011-09-26T14:27:00.003+08:00

"If Today Was Your Last Day"

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

2011-09-22T23:46:00.001+08:00

Woo hoo finally blogger has an app for itself:) anw been preparing for promos. Hardcore studying :( anyway, read this a few weeks back. Kinda sweet:) true about how we perceive ourselves.

"I am so sick of hearing all this “You can’t be loved unless you love yourself first” bullshit all over the place.
pleasefeelbeautiful:

It isn’t true.

It’s important for you to love and accept yourself, essential. In fact, it may be one of the most important tasks in life. I’m just so, so sick of seeing poor, lonely, broken souls who think that because they don’t like themselves that no one else can. By “encouraging” others to love themselves with this, all it’s doing is destroying them more by making them feel even more lonely than they already are.

Sometimes what you need is someone to love you even when you don’t love yourself. It’s possible, it’s so possible. You need someone to show you that there is more to you than what you think, because we all have such jaded views of ourselves in today’s crooked society. We need somebody to show us that it is okay to love ourselves and that we’re capable of being loved and loving ourselves.

You don’t have to love yourself for other people to love you, it’s just important to love yourself no matter what. Think about all the people who commit suicide who leave behind them a wake of pain and despair. Most suicide victims hate themselves and their lives, but they’re still loved by those they leave behind, are they not?

So don’t believe it. Don’t believe that you need to love yourself to be loved. You don’t. You just need to be yourself and accept yourself, and outside love will come and go as it pleases. That’s all it really comes down to. Love isn’t this situational, predictable, definable bullshit that everybody makes it out to be nowadays.

It is what it is, and you are what you are. Focus on loving yourself, and everything else will fall into place. I promise."

Love yourself;)

2011-09-18T00:29:00.003+08:00

Hmm. I had a rough week.(Apart from the meet ups with Su, ethel and waimin, love them all) I've been falling ill easily recently, losing sleep, losing appetite, losing control of my emotions, losing myself. I can't control all my emotions, I can just break down anytime. I don't know why I am so stressed? What for getting myself so uptight right?

I don't know.

I really don't:/ I cried so terribly yesterday night, well mainly was due to the problems I was facing in school and the fact that my headache was really bad. Migraine. I have been taking painkillers:/ Not helpingggg.

I sent a text huiqing ytd at 2am to ask if she was asleep, cause I needed to talk to her. And I just had a study date with her tonight. Productive I may say. :) We talked and I told her everything. Ah, nothing beats a little HTHT with a friend whom you have known for more than a decade. She understands me best. :) Am grateful to have her around with me in Nanyang. She said, "You don't need them to understand you. You've got us" awww. How sweet of her :) Hehehe. Had a great night, great day.

My day was spent at rp in the morning for Agape and then lunch w weishan & wingyin. Studied with wingyin. Haha we talked for 2h just to take our mind off work. It was fun:) All the childhood talks and HTHT. Awww.

Oh and I've been spending alot of time with Su. Hehehe love you babe. Ij love! :) I love how we can still talk like no tomorrrowwww even though we are now in different jcs. Hehehe love how we would always reminisce about the sjc days hehehe. Can't wait to go uni with you babe!

Why didn't I realise how lucky I am to have them in my life? And most of all, a loving boy who was always behind my back supporting me but I've been neglecting his care. I was so caught up in tryna forge strong friendships in jc that I neglected the love that he has been trying to give me. I took them for granted you may say. Guess this is how humans do. When you get comfortable and when you know that someone is not gonna leave, you'll tend to get complacent and then comes neglecting him. Well at least thats what happened to me. I was too caught up with myself:/ I was being so selfish. Gah. Hope things will get better. And honestly speaking, I really do miss the 3 months plus worth of honeymoon period. Everything was so sweet and perfect. I guess the stress that the both of us have been facing due to the promotional exams, is making us so stressed and angstyyyy. I hope things will get better after promos. -keeping fingers crossed-

Gah. Promos in 13 days time. All the best everyone!

beautiful song

2011-09-13T21:53:00.008+08:00

Everybody’s got a time in their life
When everything hurts and nothing’s right
But you gotta walk on
Yeah, you gotta walk on

Everybody’s got a piece of their heart
That’s been stepped on and torn apart
But you gotta be strong
Yeah, you gotta walk on

‘Cause I know it’s hard to have the strength
And sometimes you can’t get through the day
But things just float on by like a river in the night

But I know things are gonna get better
And I know things are gonna be fine
And I know life is gonna get better
Standing here together
Yeah, we’re gonna be fine

Everybody’s got that one regret
No matter how they try, they can’t forget
But you gotta move on
Yeah, you gotta move on
Everybody’s got someone they’ve lost
And they can’t believe they’re really gone
But you gotta live on
Yeah, you gotta live on

‘Cause I know it’s hard to have the strength
And sometimes all you feel is pain
But time keeps floating by on that river in the night

But I know things are gonna get better
I know things are gonna be fine
And I know life is gonna get better
Standing here together
Yeah, we’re gonna be fine

And I’ve been shown hope
I see it in your eyes
So take me and touch me
‘Cause with a little bit of love
We can win the fight
With a little bit of love
We can see the light
With a little bit of love
It’ll be all right

I know things are gonna get better
And I know things are gonna be fine
And I know life is gonna get better
Standing here together
Yeah, we’re gonna be fine

Walk, walk, walk on by
Keep, keep, keep walking on
Keep, keep, keep walking on

2011-09-13T21:47:00.001+08:00

Wow it's been long since I've blogged. Well, life sucks just as much. With promotional exams nearing in a barely a month's time, I'm panicking like fuck. You know this is exactly how I felt when I enter primary school and secondary school. I feel so ever alone and lost.

I just hope it'll get better in the future.

I was studying with su last wednesday and sunday, had the best H2H :) It's been long since I felt that heartwarming kind of feeling. You know, the kind of feeling like you're finally being treasured by someone close? Like to her, I know i'm important. I get this feeling whenever I go out with them. I kinda miss that. I miss how important I used to feel when I'm with a group of people. Now, its like nothing matters. I'm so lost. I don't know where I belong. I was thinking that day, if I had followed my heart and went ahead with SAJC, I would be in the same class as su. Wtf? Same class, same combi, and we might even join the same cca. Ah fuck. Bad decisions.

Yeah but nevertheless, I'm here in NYJC. Like what my tution tutor told me, If I hadn't gone NYJC, I wouldn't have joined floorball or met L, or meet some awesome fb mates. Yeah i know. But those are just, you know, some people you've barely known for a few months. How close are you to them? How important are you to them. (Not talking about L, just the rest). "When your friends, have their own friends too". To me, they are so very important. But what am I to them? (idk)

Life sucks like fuck. I can't wait for promotional exams to be over. I can't wait to spend more time with my girls. And do you know what hurts more? Is that I think everyone around me is getting better living their new lives, including my girls. Even though know I know we miss eachother, i still think that their lives seems better to me. I guess:/ :'( I don't know........ Well good thing is, I've got huiqing, xueyi and yurou with me in JC. I think I might just transfer school if weren't for them. And rach and rqqq, like those girls that you can just randomly hug them in school to get a lil comfort. :') I can't wait to go genting with huiqing and the bunch in dec/jan. Woohoo. Thats something definitely worth looking forward to.

I miss my life back in secondary school. Fuck jc. Now writing this post, I'm feeling so ever guilty already. Ah.

On the contrary, apart from the hooha i'm getting in school, L is really...hmm something. ;) Sucha sweethearttt. Can't be thankful enough. "You're gna be my motivation, no longer my distraction"! :) i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <3

2011-08-29T21:28:00.000+08:00

MY FAVE GIRLS!!! :)

2011-08-22T23:58:00.002+08:00

I miss T.E.A.M. LTC. I miss the kind of feeling I get when we're planning for the programme. I miss the kind of SUCCESS feeling, the kind of sjc love when we are having our final debrief for our programme. And Cam would always say, "Once again, T.E.A.M LTC has delivered yet another successful programme. We've certainly raised the bar once more."

Ah I miss LTC.

I miss the successes.

I miss the love.

I miss the ij spirit.

I miss the laughters.

To sum it up, I miss chijsjc. I still miss it. It was my 2nd home, and it'll always be. Tell me where can you get this kind of ijfamilylove? Well, definitely not here in nanyangjc.

2011-08-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

"Love, sometimes it hurts; sometimes it lasts."

2011-08-19T21:26:00.001+08:00

Tiring week. Really tiring... I just wna crash and burn. Promos are coming. Kill me. Die die die

2011-08-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

It was a great night with my girls. :) BANG 2011 at Ngee Ann Poly. We went all the way there to support Peihua bbg for her talent show. Vibecontrol(her dance crew) pwned all and emerged as Champions of BANG2011. :D

Congratulations BBG!!!!! Can't express just how much I'm proud of you! Am glad to see that you're all happy in the school, doing well and living your dream. You expressed your emotions through dance so well. :) You're talented bbg! :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Set aside that, I came back from NYJC LTC 2011 this tuesday. Hmm, not exactly as fun as I had expected it to be. But I've made a lot of new friends and some are really worth keeping. :) Am glad that I went. I learnt more about leadership. I admire my facil alot. Shes amazing. :) I think shes just a level below cam. Hahahaha. CAM IS THE LEADERSHIP PRESIDENT MAN. Hahaha not as fun, but maybe thats because I've been to way too many camps. O wells!

Hahaha.

1000th post. And I dedicate this to you. Thanks for the night love. :P You gave me butterflies. Hahahahahaha. My wish came true aye? So today is the official one? HAHAHA:>

2011-07-31T01:52:00.002+08:00

Life kinda sucks still in school. And whats worse is I failed to appreciate what I have with me. I have so many wonderful friends around me. I've youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

I can't be thankful enough for what I have with you right now. The little things you do for me matters the most. Like coming down from school to my house whenever I'm sick to make sure I'm alright. Going the extra mile to make sure that I'll always have a smile on my face. All the encouragements and hugs I've received before matches. I have not deleted a single text since March. And that was before we got together. Hah! Its funny when I read those texts now. How I'm always beating around the bush, tryna care for you and at the same time, tryna not let you find out that I've been secretly liking you for a long long time. Hahaha. Feels really comfortable right now. To know that you've someone to count on all the time. To know that when I'm with you, I can be as vulnerable as I want. I don't have to be strong for anyone else. I feel protected when I'm with you. :)

You give me butterflies all the time.

You give me surprise hugs from the back.

You wipe away my tears with your hand when I break down.

You buy herbal tea to make sure I don't drink any other soft drinks.

You give me your words of encouragements to make sure that I'm confident before a game.

You wait for me after school so we can go Macs to study.

You respect my decisions.

You sacrifice your time to travel all the way from school to my house just to make sure I'm alright.

You make sure that I'm always standing infront of you so that you can keep a look out for me.

You give me morning calls just to make sure I'll wake up to study.

You're perfect for me. Didn't think that I'd meet someone like you. But, HA. I did. WOOHOO.

Thank youuuu :) Love youuuu.

2011-07-30T21:41:00.001+08:00

I miss my girls. I miss everything about SJC.

2011-07-30T21:30:00.002+08:00

"wanna to belong here, but something feels so wrong here"

Stickwitu

2011-07-21T23:39:00.001+08:00

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say, hey

Nobody gonna love me better
I'mma stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'mma stickwitu

You know how to appreciate me
I'mma stickwitu, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'mma stickwitu

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride in our private lives
Ain't nobody getting in between

I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say

Nobody gonna love me better
I'mma stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'mma stickwitu

You know how to appreciate me
I'mma stickwitu, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'mma stickwitu

And now
Ain't nothing else I could need
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me

I got you
We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you
Baby, you're with me

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down

I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down

I know you and you know me
And that's, that's why I say, hey

Nobody gonna love me better
I'mma stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'mma stickwitu

You know how to appreciate me
I'mma stickwitu, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'mma stickwitu

Nobody gonna love me better
I'mma stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'mma stickwitu

You know how to appreciate me
I'mma stickwitu, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'mma stickwitu

2011-07-20T23:08:00.002+08:00

Because you live, my world has twice as many stars in the sky.

2011-07-14T00:45:00.002+08:00

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith

Life is really sucky right now. School is seriously seriously a burden. I just got back my mid year results. And yes, I did not do well at all. I disappointed myself the most. E for H2 Math, U for Chem, C for geog(Was so close to B), and I think my econs is gonna be a goner. FML. My parents are not as concerned as they used to be for my results. My mum told me this, "So what if you don't get straight As, we'll make sure you have the money. Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself. I'm not asking you to be a top scorer." As nice as that may sound, it actually hurts me more. Its kinda as though, she don't expect as much from me as she used to in the past. I'll always strive to achieve the best results. You trained me to always aim for the highest. All the harsh scoldings I received when I was in primary sch, makes me a high-achiever-wannabe. Hence, the many achievements in pri, sec school, and even jc. But, the results i'm getting kinda brings me down alot. This is the shittiest results I've ever gotten in my entire life. I've never failed chemistry so badly ever.

I know my parents are not concerned about my results and all. But I know, if I friggin hell continue this, I'm going nowhere. I may not be able to get promoted. I can fail A levels. FML.

Every night, before I head to bed, I tell myself I've wasted a whole night away. Those few hours spent sleeping could have been spent on studying and doing tutorials. I'm wasting time. I tell myself that tomorrow is going to be different. Tomorrow after school, I will not sleep, I will do my work. And the very next day after school, I'll head right to bed and waste my night away. And the routine goes on and on. Why am I like that? As if school isn't torturing enough, I joined Agape. Well, not that I don't enjoy it, I do enjoy it, I love it in fact. But, reality check... I'm really lagging behind for work and for school floorball, I'm already very committed. I went on ahead on joining Agape. Was I out of my mind? As much as I love floorball, at the end of the day when I apply to an university, they are not gonna care about my SGC or how many goals I've scored or how much I've attained for floorball.

Damn it. I'm questioning my own life. JC kills people. MOE should consider changing the education system. Why make us go through such a hard time? What is the point of PW? You think it'll help us? You're wrong. You're draining us even more. Do we look like we have alot of time for PROJECT WORK? Something that will get rejected a thousand times before accepting one bloody proposal? Seriously.

Sigh.

School is sucky. I miss LTC. I miss my girls. I miss you.

PT WOOHOO

2011-07-09T10:09:00.001+08:00

So.. My fever recovered fast. I was alright by the next morning. But here comes the after effect. :( gastric. Really bad gastric. My tummy was bloated and I couldn't eat anything at all. I feel full but I didn't eat much at all. Sigh sigh sigh.

I did PT yesterday despite having gastric hahaha. Pain laaa but Aiya heck. Hahaha. It was fun:) tiring yessss. But cool down was damn funny w wingyin and weishan hohoho!!:) looks like I found my close friends in nanyang! Lol

O wells haha. Had a great PT w team:)

2011-07-06T20:33:00.002+08:00

Well. I'm sick. Again. High fever last night at 2am, at 39.0 degrees. Thank goodness it didn't reach 39.7 like the last time, or else I'll have to cab down to serangoon for the 24h clinic and spend a bomb there again. Hah.

I hate getting fever, urgh. Makes my body feels really weak and nuaaaa. And I've training on friday, sat and sunday. I really wna go................................................. lol. If you know me, even if people tell me I gta rest, I won't lolol. Okay I'll see about friday. Haha.

So I didnt go school today. They got back their maths papers. Well good news is that I passed! :/ Thats something to be happy about. But on a heavier note, its an E. -.- lol. Sigh. Hopefully I'll do better for geog to make up for the U grade for chem. :( Sigh. I hope my econs won't be an U.

Thanks for being there today. :) Meant alot. hehehe.

2011-07-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

Great day at sentosa w team :)

2011-07-03T21:41:00.003+08:00

T.E.A.M LTC Alumni
Forte Legame 2011
Teachers Amazing Race 2011
24th June 2011
SUCCESS! :)

We've raised the bar once again. This planning of the amazing race 2011 officially marks the end of our training process from cam. We've gone from campers in 2008, to camp leaders in Jan 2009, to leadership training instructors in nov 2009, followed by mentors to juniors in jan 2010. After which, we were alumni and we came back to gave feedbacks to juniors as mentors. And finally, ending with the planning of the amazing amazing race 2011.

We've come a long way. Though this marks the end of our training process with Cam, our leadership journey does not end here. For it is a life long process, not a destination.

I'll miss this bunch of crazy people. I'll miss all the planning days with team. I remember when I was a.chief for sec 1 oc 2010, me waimin vern su and the instructors came back to school almost everyday during the dec holidays. The passion we had for team ltc is undescribable. It's amazing how far we've come so far:) And even after stepping down, and even after leaving sjc, we're all still as passionate about it as ever.

This is a team that i'll never forget. For now, us alumni we still have SJC Marathon, LTC 2011 to attend. And next year, we'll be the camp facilitators for sec 2 camp! Afterwards, we're all taking a break for As. After which, i'm definitely going back to sjc to help T.E.A.M LTC as much as I can.

CHIJ St Joseph's Convent

T.E.A.M LTC Alumni

Together Everyone Achieves More

2011-07-02T02:11:00.002+08:00

This is love.

You know someone is important in your heart when his mood affects you.

Stay stronggggg. I'll be here always .

2011-07-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

Nothing but a facade

2011-07-01T02:15:00.002+08:00

I kinda question everything that I have now. I question myself, I question each and every decision that I've made over these few months.

What the hell happened?

Why did I drag myself into this again. Haven't I learnt my lesson?

Sometimes you just know you can't do something, but somehow, one way or another, you still end up doing it. Cause you know your heart is taking over your mind.

2011-06-30T00:15:00.002+08:00

I've been staying in my room alot recently. Even when I'm alone at home. I used to hate the silence at home. Cause whenever theres silence, I'll start imagining things. So the tv would always be on. But ever since JC started, I kinda started enjoying the silence. The solitude can be so calming sometimes.

So here I am sitting up on my comfortable bed, with my blanket on, laptop on my lap, ij bear on my right, plates of fruits by the table, air con turned on, talking to my favourite people.. Ah, this is life.

Exams ended today. The exam stress started kicking in early june, and man, that was honestly the worst month of my life. Well only for the studying part, the accompany part, it was pretty good. Ha! Well considering the fact that LTC Amazing race was in june as well, and there was alot of stuff going on in school for the first week of june, I didn't had much time to study. So yeah. It was pretty hard, having to juggle so many things. I broke down a couple of times during this holiday. For a few reasons, mainly cause of the stress I was facing. And you know sometimes you're stressed, and you tell someone about it and all. Sometimes, I just need someone to hear me out. I'm not looking for someone to solve my problems. Being there and hearing me out, is more than enough. Quite a number of stuff happened during june, good ones and bad ones. O wells.... Shan't dwell on the bad ones. Its all good now.

This mid years is my first major paper since jc started. GP, Math, Geog was pretty okay. Like I know I won't definitely fail, but I won't get an A either. Chem and Econs? These two subjects are a goner. Chem ppr was today. Honestly, I didn't know what I was doing. The only paper i thought it was pretty okay was Paper 3. Afterwards, I was pretty much crapping my way through. Was constantly looking at the clock, just waiting for it to tick at 5.22pm(end of paper). Screw this. O wells. I have promos to work on soon. And project work.......

One more thing, it just feels so different to take exams in another school. Probably because I'm too used to the prayers back in sjc. Where Mrs Soon or any catholic teacher would always pray together with the girls for our papers. And the candle placed at the stage there to calm us down and to let us know that God is with us. I kinda miss that alot. I miss the kind of calmness I get after hearing exam prayers from Mrs Soon. I know I know, I'm still the sucker-who-still-misses-secondary-school. I can't help it. I don't hate nyjc, its just that, there just isn't the family kinda feeling here in nanyang.... Its all just.... "oh hey, theres school". But in sjc, its like.. a family. Theres always cuddles, hugs, laughters. I really miss that.

Now that exams are over, I have 6 days of holidays to fully enjoy myself. I need a break. Cause after this, its a whole lot of stuff to do. I have to juggle school and floorball. Floorball is gna be another huge commitment. I pray for the best.

And I do hope that in time to come, I'll start to enjoy nanyang. I really hope I do. If it wasn't for Floorball, I wouldn't know how I'd be able to survive here. And I really love texts I get from Su. Hehehehe. Or the random texts I'd text her in the middle of the day saying, "babe i wish you're here". Gah. Which is so true :( Things would have been so different if I had gone with my heart to go sajc.

But oh wells. With every choice and decision I make, theres always a consequence to it. At the same time, not forgetting the treats I received for the decision to go Nanyang. I wouldn't have met the greatest person on earth, nor play floorball. :)

I shall go sleep soon. Goodnight world.

2011-06-15T09:36:00.000+08:00

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

2011-06-03T01:27:00.001+08:00

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

2011-06-03T01:24:00.002+08:00

PW MATES. EVERYDAY IM PW-ING. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2011-05-27T00:15:00.002+08:00

Been a real long time since I blogged huh. Haha. Well, so many things happened in may. I don't know.. Like always, school sucks. I've missed almost every lecture for chem and geog. I can catch, but I just feel like I'm a goner for chem. Sigh. MYE is coming, end of june that is. Shucks. I hope I'll do well.

Sometimes, when I try to make things better, it just get worse. I try to change myself so I can click with you guys. But, why am I changing for you? Then again, I can't bring myself to be who I am infront of you guys. Everything feels fake. Fake smiles, fake laughters, fake hugs, fake concerns. C'mon, when I told you how I felt, your reaction was pathetic. Your face was telling me, "shut up, i'm way worse". Competition, kiasuism. There's only 3 people I can count on. Or... 1 in class. Shunfeng is seriously the ONLY person. I wish he's a girl. Zzz. And I thought my class was getting better, until the only person I trusted at the start of school just BAM, left me. Thanks for leaving me hanging in the air. Thanks for acting like you care.

This is pathetic. I just hope in the near future, things will get better.

Ah, and Peihua's brother was admitted to the hospital recently. Sucks to see best like that. Like as if school wasn't bad enough for her, she has got this to handle. I'm really glad I was with her that night at the hospital. I can't imagine how scared and worried she would be if she was there alone. Best, you can always count on me. I'll be just a text away. (:

On the bright side, floorball mates are really awesome. I'm really glad I have them to count on. :) And huiqing and bao for being there always. It's really amazing how me and my girls are still as close as ever. Maybe its true that the only friends you can really count on and last forever, are those whom you've met in the secondary school days. I'm truly proud to be an ij girl.

So GP paper is tomorrow, well technically today. And here I am blogging. I've just completed my work for floorball. Man it feels like a sec 3 repeat. Me not exactly coping well with studies, taking up leadership roles, workload piling up higher and higher. Zzz. O wells.....I gotta get some sleep. I'll maybe blog more soon, or not. Since pw and studying is taking up much of my june holidays time. Anyho, really looking forward to amazing race 2011. And so many activities with teamltc. Family day, LTC 2011 14th batch, Sec 2 camp! (: k, Goodnight world.

These few days were like a dream to me. Can't believe this is actually happening. I've never felt this comfortable with anyone for a very long time(apart from my girls that is). The silence was so soothing and comfortable. Your touch was like an assurance, telling me that you're here with me. Your presence just brightens up my day. This time, this time its real. This is the first time. I'm glad you're here with me(: You mean the world.

2011-05-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

Why is everything not going my wayyyy? Sighhhh. Why is everything so toughhh? ): Fuck this.
I should have trusted my instincts and went ahead w my desired jc.

Is ny a mistake?

2011-05-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

School ain't being very friendly to me this week. I've missed so many tutorials, so many lectures, it's hard to catch up. I'm gonna make full use of this long weekend to catch up with all the work I've missed. No more procrastination. Just look at your own chem test jin, U grade? You didn't even pass. You didn't even get above 10.

I've gotta set my priorities straight. After A divs, it's studyingggg studyinggg and more studyingggg for mid years. PW PW PW! We finished our first GPP yesterday night. Hopefully it's okayyyy :/

What the mind thinks does not correspond to what the heart wants. I need you now. But I gotta keep it in. I have to hold back. I... i don't know.

2011-05-01T23:35:00.002+08:00

Ah these people made my birthday this year especially special. And also not forgetting those who are not in the picture(yurou taking picture). Floorball mates, class 1112, ruiqiiii and claudiaaaaaaa.

Huiqing and gang surprised me on my birthday. Man I was shocked! Huiqing initially wanted to go out and study w me then a movie date. She texted me in the morning saying she can't go, gooood was I depressed. Then she came, and I was ttly IN SHOCK. And I asked if shes alone, and she said yes. THEN WOW, SUDDENLY SO MANY PEOPLE. WTSSS HAHA.

LOVE YOUALL (': Thanks for making my 17th birthday special.

I know this is alittle late, but yeah! A big thank you to all who wished me happy birthday too hahahaha.

2011-04-29T19:32:00.002+08:00

Why am I so easily intimidated? Why aren't I going in stronger? Why wasn't I doing my best? What the hell am I so afraid about? Why am I holding back?

Today's fight was tough. I didn't give in my best. But I'm gna get back on my feet and fight harder in the upcoming two matches. War isn't over yet. Until the last second, nobody knows who is gonna be the winner.

Team Nanyang did better today, but it is definitely not our best. We're gonna be tougher and stronger. We know we can, we know we can.

2011-04-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

Stronger - Mandisa

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

2011-04-26T19:31:00.002+08:00

A div started yesterday. First match against IJC. 8-0.

Tomorrow is a whole new match. We're up against TJC. I gotta calm myself down. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!!!!! I'm gna pray hard tonight. I prayed on Sunday night for Monday's game. And God blessed our team!!! I hope he will guide us on tomorrow! :>

Haiiii. I'm lagging behind alot. ): I'm not catching up for chem, econs and even geog now. Sigh. I'm gna miss so many lectures and so many tutorials. ): Guess this is life. I can get through this.

This is getting nowhere...

2011-04-24T08:37:00.002+08:00

Saturday yesterday was a bizzare dayyyyyy. Friendly with NJC in the morning and following that rushed back to school for PW. And I had to rush home to change and get to Marina Square. All that in a day! I was out from 8am in the morning to 12am midnight hahaha.

So celebration with my girls^^ Okay it started off pretty normal like yeah, hugs talks dinner at Mahattan Fish Market and all. HAHAHA. Till Su received a call from L.W and she say she gotta leave. WLAOOO. I was like, 'WHAT! fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee boyfriend over me alr laaaa'. Eh I seriously believed that L.W was gna pick her up man! And ethel ph and vi were all like huh-you-serious-face. So I totally fell for it.

After dinner we went to Esplanade Waterfront. Wow. That is the best place for H2H talks. Romantic max ^^ Provided that if the band is playing the right song laaaa. Yesterday was ABIT loud and rock. Haha. But the scenery was amaaaaazing. It's like you're seeing half of Singapore. Then there was some light performance JUST LIKE HONGKONG @ the Victoria sth area. So we were all like talking about our changes in environment and how sucky school was. Man I broke into tears and I ttly just buried my face in Peihua's thighs. Like damnnnnnnnnnn school was damn sucky. ):

AND GUESSSS WHAT. HA. Su just covered my eyes from behind and like they prepared a cake forrrrrrr me(': Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Then I cried even moreeeee. Groupppppppppppppppppppppppp hugggggggggggggggggggs. Since the start of secondary school till now, I've never really officially celebrated my birthday yet cuz it's always in the middle of exams. This would be counted as my first official one w my girls. Awww<3<3 I just can't thank youall enough. The warmth in my heart is soooooo overwhelming. One of my birthday wishes were for my girls. :)

Its sooo nice to know that even though we've all gone our separate ways, we're still as close as everrrrrrr. IJ friends are friends for lifeeee.

Thanks bestfriesssss for your birthday card! <': It brings tears to my eyes each time I read your card. "Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than losing you" Patrick to Spongebob. Well said indeed. (:

Love them allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. I feel like the luckiest and happiest girl on earth naooo. Hahahaha. Okay A div and chem test tmr. AH.

2011-04-22T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hehehe floorball mates<3 Lovelovelove! Hahaha. Training was good today. :) Subway w farhana esther elaine weishan wingyin. Haha. Then we were supposed to study, butttttttttt end up laughing alot. Hahahahaha! Tmr match w NJC. We gotta win this! :> We can do it. AHHHH

2011-04-22T11:27:00.003+08:00

All who have accomplished great things have had great aim, have fixed their
gaze on a goal which was high, once which sometimes seemed impossible. - Orison
Swett Marden

2011-04-22T11:20:00.001+08:00

"In the end, it's extra effort that saparates winner from second place. But winning takes alot more than that too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it takes desire, determination, discipline, and self sacrifice. And finally, it takes a great deal of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you don't win, how can you lose?" - Jesse Owens

A Div on Monday. We can do this!!!!

2011-04-22T11:14:00.002+08:00

Ah what a week.

Monday was my only free day, well. Not exactly free. I had to go home and study for econs test. And guess what I fell asleep againnnn. So I got fed up and I got out of the house to study at Starbucks till 11pm. It was nice. Hahaha. And guess what! Next day the econs test, it was tested on the fall of demand for Starbucks and PED YED XED. Exactly what I studied at starbucks. Hahah! :)

Tues, wed, thurs I have training. Including today! And tmr we have a friendly against NJC at RP. And then Sunday(My birthday!!!!!!!!!!!) and then... comes the BIG DAY. The start of A div. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm damn scared. >< DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNN.

Ah, so many things to do, so little time. I hope I can juggle well during the A div period. I'm gna miss so many lectures and tutorials. Like missing out almost all of the maths lectures. ): Sigh.

I wonder if you still need me there now..

2011-04-17T23:37:00.000+08:00

A DIVISION IN 8 DAYS TIME. SCREAMS?

2011-04-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

I'm doubting everything again. If you haven't changed, it'll be you right now.

2011-04-16T21:01:00.003+08:00

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS.

25th april is near. Everything is piling up so fast, I can't breathe! A div is in a week's time. Next week econs test and 25th is chem test! ): I'm sensing that geog assignments and essays are imminent. Damn! ):

Had a v good training session with wingyin today. Hahahaha! Though the ground made our floorball blade like rly scratched, heck w it! Cross court passing and shooting was rly a good practise today. Wee:) And omg we have so much things in common. She scored 30 points for napfa too! She was as leadery as me in secondary and PRIMARY school. Can you believe it. She planned as many camps as I did in sec sch, and I can ttly relate lah! :D HAHAHAH. PLUS! Even her morning daily routines are the same as mine. How freaky is that. Hahaha! Am really glad to find another girl that is as geng as me. Floorball ftw! :) Kay I gta do maths naoooo. WOO HOO 30POINTS! <: 2.4 TARGET NEXT YEAR IS BELOW 11!:)

2011-04-16T15:48:00.001+08:00

30 POINTS! <: I managed to hit my target. Yes! <:

2011-04-13T21:10:00.002+08:00

Floorball girls! (L) I wish all of us are in one class w the guys! That would be so awesome. Hahaha. Love having them around. Training today. Was supposed to run 4km today for training. Aw man then it started raining. Was really looking forward to the 4km run coz it was supposed help me cool down from all the stress im facing now.

MAN! Shall go jogging soon. Hahaha. So we had stickwork training. Face-off with wingyin was damn funny hahaha! We had scores and now she officially owes me KOI MILK TEA AND ICECREAM! <: HAHAHA. After training we went to amk tgt w esther and weishan to get courtshoes! YAY! Mine's red and white and a lil of black? Love it alot. Matches my stick, bottle, and shoebag! Wahahaha! We saw navy adidas bag, i think thats gna be our team bag! WEE! :) Hopefully all of us can buy heh! So niceeeeeeeeeeeee!

Train ride home w wingyin was good! Hahahaha i think i finally found my geng girlpartner alr. Woohoo! Looking forward to saturday training and study session w her. <: Yay.

2011-04-10T21:55:00.001+08:00

7 MAY NIKE 5K GODDESS RUN W VIVIAN SIM YING HUI! I CAN'T WAIT! :D FORTE AMIS! <:

2011-04-10T21:45:00.003+08:00

To get something I never had, I've to do something I've never done.

A Division
Project Work
Tutorials
NYJC

I'm gonna fight till the end! I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gonna cry. For each time I fall, is another step forward. And I know I'm not in this alone.
I'M READY FOR YOU. BRING IT ON.

2011-04-10T01:32:00.000+08:00

2011-04-09T23:19:00.002+08:00

or not....

2011-04-09T16:28:00.002+08:00

Awesome song. :) Awesome vid too. Nickelback!<3

2.4km today. 12.05. Well, good thing is, i hit my personal best. My best timing was 12.30. I ttly forgot to start my watch when the horn was blown, aw man! ): That cost me 5s and I'd hit my target! So close to getting 11mins 45+. aw man!!!!!! ): ): ): Wingyin hit her PB too. HAHAHA. Coach did said we should beat our PB, and at that time when he said that I was like, i can't go beyond 12.30 even though I aimed 11. But omg i did it hahaha. I'M GNA HIT 11 NEXT YEAR I SWEARRRRRRRRRR! Happy too coz I came in 2nd for my batch. Heh. Bathed in school and rushed to Mrs Deb Tan's house for meeting w LTC. Her house damn comfy! Hahaha. Then nex for lunch. Amk w su. Talked alot w su. ): Life's tough for the both of us. :/

My schedule next week is gna be damn tough. With trainings on Tues, Wed(4km PT!), Friday. Maths and chem lecture test next week... Idk if i can cope man. ): Why so toughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sigh!

Confused

2011-04-06T19:38:00.002+08:00

No words can explain my love for these girls. I'm really really glad that I've them around. I'm really really glad to have huiqing by my side everytime.

It felt really really really nice when su's is always there for me. I'd always text her and she'd give me her honest opinions and encouragements truly from her heart. I really really miss you guys in school. It's just different )': I miss all your hugs. Those hugs I get when I'm feeling down in school. I miss all your laughters. I miss the times you guys would tease how nerd I am. Can I go back in time to 2010? ):

Oh man..........

2011-04-06T19:13:00.004+08:00

I'm so tired. There's so much to do, so little time. My body needs a break.
My schedule this week.

Mon: P.E (2.4km) + i did some self training
Tues: Training
Wed: PT
Thurs: Friendly w RVHS
Fri: Training
Sat: 2.4km + Meeting LTC
Sun: Rest(AS IF) Man...... I'm tired. ):

With all the workload piling up higher and higher. PW is really killing me, and its only the BEGINNING. How ever am I gna cope in the future? Damn. Was it even a right choice to go jc?

Heard some stuff today. Maybe I shouldn't have listened to it. :/ It got me questioning my heart alot. My heart is taking over my mind. Its time to let my mind take control. Let's see what this brain can do. Is this just a ..... or ..... or its just me? Oh mannnn.

2011-04-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

You never did asked if I'm okay. You just assumed that I was.

2011-04-05T22:48:00.001+08:00

Aw man... here we go again. I'm always the one listening, never the one talking. Can somebody just listen for once.................................................................................................................................................... Your words really hurt my feelings alot. Though I know you may not mean it that way, but that's what you truly felt right. Sigh. Is it wrong to be a perfectionist? >:

2011-04-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Aw man... why so tough. ):

2011-04-04T21:54:00.002+08:00

That's smiling deep from within. That right there, is pure happiness and joy. (: Dinner @ chomps will my girls for celebration of Peihua's 17th birthday. Well more of a getaway night for us from all the work from school. Heh. Love them so much( ). I was texting huiqing ytd and its like telepathy or sth. Damn amazing hahaha. Feels nice to be around these girls. :) Of coz not forgetting xueyi and yurou, and ruiqi rach for being there for me in NY(: Sjc girls are just amazing heh! <:

School today was alright I guess. I had like tutorials and lectures from 9 to 130 no break. Then lunch for 30mins and another 1h30min of econs tutorial. Right after econs was P.E. I had to run 2.4km... Really glad that my timing is 12.30mins today again! Back to normal hahaha! Reallly hope to achieve 11mins by this year or next. <:

I did a lil floorball training myself today. It felt really nice after realising my mistakes all these while. WAHAHA. Ok wouldn't have realised the mistake without help. :>

School's getting better i guess..... Idk. I really look forward to sat's meeting @ Mrs Deb Tan's house w ltc hahahaha damn fun! :) And sunday dinner w pei<3

Ok test tmr. >:

2011-04-03T15:51:00.001+08:00

You're surrounded by so many people, but you feel so alone.

How I feel everyday since the start of school in jc.

2011-04-03T11:38:00.002+08:00

Sam Tsui and Kurt Schneider<3. The piano remedy totally kills.(:

2011-04-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

Grief, misses, angst, gone.

She'll be okay.

2011-04-02T23:23:00.001+08:00

Where do I turn when we weren't so close?

2011-04-02T01:56:00.003+08:00

School ended at 1230.
Training from 6 -8.
Team dinner @ Old Airport Rd. Prawn Mee was da bez. THUMBS UP
Macs w XM. Felt really nice w her around. This is the first time I felt the CONNECTION. I'll always be here for you girl! :)
Home.

Ah, boring day. Looking forward to the weekends. A div on 25th april. Grant me some birthday luck please.

2011-03-30T21:17:00.003+08:00

MY LEG HAS FINALLY RECOVERED. *GRINS*

Omg after a gazillion years(3 weeks), FINALLY!!!!! I went training ytd and it was pain at the start when I did warm up, then the pain was G-O-N-E! Woohoo! Did physical training today, and no pain!!!!

Hahahaha! Okay mayb its because of the medicine coz it contains a small amount of painkiller. But what the heck! It's not pain at ALL. I can finally go jogging, do P.E and stuff again! :D YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW HAPPY I AM OKAY OMG. Now, my cough, blocked nose and ears. Hehe^^

2011-03-29T00:05:00.001+08:00

I wish you're here with me now. I wish you're here right beside me hearing me out. You'd understand me won't you. Why did you left me here alone?

emptiness

2011-03-28T23:20:00.004+08:00

I thought I was starting to enjoy jc life, I thought I was starting to adapt well to not having them by my side... Guess I was wrong. It just feels so empty now. Every new friend made feels so superficial, fake, shallow. I know who you are, your favourites, but who are you really? It's kinda creepy seeing myself like this recently. Whatever happened to the annoying and lame jin? Why am I so reserved now? Why am I not coming out of my shell? Life's really different now. I hate changes.
Guess the friends I made in secondary school really made me, Who i am today. And not being with them, is like taking a new born child away from it's mother, taking fishes out of water. It's just not right. They need each other to survive. I'm struggling to keep my head above the water. And the waves just keep crashing down on me one after another. I know I'm being a stubborn ass for not being able to accept the fact that my secondary school friends are not with me anymore. But can you imagine the emptiness I feel everyday? You can't. Being in the same school as xueyi and huiqing is like, being in two different planets. How often do I see them? Its like we're in different schools. We have different cca, different classes, different combinations.
Changes, you're never nice to me huh. This is exactly how you treated me back in 2007. When will you ever stop toturing me like this?

2011-03-28T00:06:00.002+08:00

You left too soon.

2011-03-27T14:20:00.006+08:00

Spent my weekend @ starbucks and subway + lib to do homework. V productive(: The alone time was kind of soothing and relaxing(: anyway. I saw alot of people jogging recently): I really wish I can go for a jog nowwwwwwww. Sigh): I need a jog to clear my mind. I need the music, the sunset, the wind. Then my sunkist orange juice and the slow walk home from the field. ): O wells.